We all need a little love and reminder sometimes
When we lose the hope that used to be our light.
We all need a little bit of shoulder at times
When we can't hold ourselves by own mights.
We all need little pick-me-up dimes
When our smiles wouldn't stay upright
We all need a little love and reminder sometimes
That a bad day wouldn't mean no way
That a bad day might mean oh-...kay
Oh-...alright.
We all need a little loving reminder sometimes
When we lose the hope in the form of light.
We all need loving reminders of love.
Because love is all anyone wished they deserved.
_________________________________________________________________________________
"What if I fall and can't get back up...?"
Thursday 25 September 2014
Monday 4 August 2014
The irony of beautiful sad
She sits in silence
With the sirens in her head.
Her footsteps timeless
With the counting of the dead
Her hands feel cold
All her tears have seemed to take the heat away.
This emptiness inside us
The abundance we don't say
_________________________________________________________________________________
Her vision know no colours
While her soul creates hues and lines.
Her body shaking for hours.
Because her heart won't beat in time.
Her eyes have lost their shine
To the stars in her mind.
The path of darkness
Hits the brightest souls in time.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday 26 June 2014
Stars
"The longer you stare into the night sky,
The more stars will appear.
And I guess thats why
I love looking at you."
Do you see stars in my eyes?
Even just a twinkle.
Or flowers in my heart?
Even just a bud.
Well it drives me crazy,
To see perfection such as this.
It drives me insane,
To see you shining in the darkest of the abyss.
But it drives me even crazier,
Feeling like an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Staring at a black dot on a piece of clean white paper,
Like a strange alignment or a plainly distorted border.
When you stand next to me,
And all I can see is imperfection beside flawless.
And I feel so lost in my own skin,
Where is the glow, is it something I have to win?
Because I see the galaxy, staring at you.
I see fireflies in my eyes when I speak of you.
Do you see even a sparkle when you glance at my soul?
(This is written for no one in particular nor does the ' I ' really mean me. It does not mean that it was for a guy or girl or a lover or a friend. It could or might have been inspired by my feelings towards myself or someone I hold high regard for, then again it might not have been. I myself am not too sure. I simply wanted to pen down random thoughts.)
But I am however, feeling a little down about not being able to love myself better. Not so much look down on myself but everyone has those days when they cannot seem to appreciate themselves for who they truly are and instead look to others and wonder why they shine so much, way brighter. I can however say that this is inspired by the occasional nasty, deceiving feelings of feeling so inadequate and so much less special as a human being sometimes being with people (talented/pretty/smart/beautiful) I admire so very much. This is all.
The more stars will appear.
And I guess thats why
I love looking at you."
Do you see stars in my eyes?
Even just a twinkle.
Or flowers in my heart?
Even just a bud.
Well it drives me crazy,
To see perfection such as this.
It drives me insane,
To see you shining in the darkest of the abyss.
But it drives me even crazier,
Feeling like an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Staring at a black dot on a piece of clean white paper,
Like a strange alignment or a plainly distorted border.
When you stand next to me,
And all I can see is imperfection beside flawless.
And I feel so lost in my own skin,
Where is the glow, is it something I have to win?
Because I see the galaxy, staring at you.
I see fireflies in my eyes when I speak of you.
Do you see even a sparkle when you glance at my soul?
(This is written for no one in particular nor does the ' I ' really mean me. It does not mean that it was for a guy or girl or a lover or a friend. It could or might have been inspired by my feelings towards myself or someone I hold high regard for, then again it might not have been. I myself am not too sure. I simply wanted to pen down random thoughts.)
But I am however, feeling a little down about not being able to love myself better. Not so much look down on myself but everyone has those days when they cannot seem to appreciate themselves for who they truly are and instead look to others and wonder why they shine so much, way brighter. I can however say that this is inspired by the occasional nasty, deceiving feelings of feeling so inadequate and so much less special as a human being sometimes being with people (talented/pretty/smart/beautiful) I admire so very much. This is all.
Wednesday 21 May 2014
Semblance
This pretty-fashioned ball, a masquerade all fall.
Here's the catch and call, it's told to be for all.
Things and possibilities, never ending improbabilities.
Could it be some disability or just sickly incivility?
You don't know who plays the clown, you don't know whose wears a gown.
Forget the crown, they're all in frowns.
This facade keeps going round and round, you wound up only with a slippery noun.
A word, no verbs- just adjectives, you think not twice but in sevens or fifths.
They do a dance, clearly placed in a trance.
Words fall out like a desperate blunt lance, they prance away without a glance.
They forget what no one can forget, yet life won't let us run from debt.
It all comes down to a single trick, you either burn or melt off the candle wick.
But whose to say you're not just as sick, painting blood with a mere prick-like-stick.
Not on their faces, oh that thought misplaces.
But your own skin you force into aces, you'd cover all those hidden traces.
Cut all these bull, we're all just tools.
But I'm the one whose such a fool, putting myself under such a dark dark rule.
(well this was a bloody waste of time, i don't get it either. dont judge me i just needed an outlet)
Here's the catch and call, it's told to be for all.
Things and possibilities, never ending improbabilities.
Could it be some disability or just sickly incivility?
You don't know who plays the clown, you don't know whose wears a gown.
Forget the crown, they're all in frowns.
This facade keeps going round and round, you wound up only with a slippery noun.
A word, no verbs- just adjectives, you think not twice but in sevens or fifths.
They do a dance, clearly placed in a trance.
Words fall out like a desperate blunt lance, they prance away without a glance.
They forget what no one can forget, yet life won't let us run from debt.
It all comes down to a single trick, you either burn or melt off the candle wick.
But whose to say you're not just as sick, painting blood with a mere prick-like-stick.
Not on their faces, oh that thought misplaces.
But your own skin you force into aces, you'd cover all those hidden traces.
Cut all these bull, we're all just tools.
But I'm the one whose such a fool, putting myself under such a dark dark rule.
(well this was a bloody waste of time, i don't get it either. dont judge me i just needed an outlet)
Tuesday 13 May 2014
Teach me how to stay classy
Teach me how to stay classy,
Certainly not asking for anything too fussy.
I'll hold my words up in a bun,
While knowing how to have just a little bit of fun.
Curtsey and greet others with the hems of my skirt,
Yet remain icy, like a frozen dessert.
To laugh and embrace just like the sun,
Carry loving personalities made to stun.
Charm others with unmistakable respect.
To embrace life as if no regrets.
I'd love so much to stay cultured and not tacky,
Is there a balance of sexy without the skimpy?
Showing beauty, more than skin deep,
Yet indulge in dresses like the only sin.
I'd present language like a full makeup,
Confidence like black gloves, I'll certainly do with no fake ups.
To step in to a scene with elegance and poise,
Classy heels with a good height choice.
Convey love with a smile,
To blow a kiss from a mile.
To be missed when not around,
To be felt without making a sound.
To say so much with simply the twinkle in my eye.
To be timeless, never out of style.
for someone who literally asked "how to stay classy", idk la hahahaha
Certainly not asking for anything too fussy.
I'll hold my words up in a bun,
While knowing how to have just a little bit of fun.
Curtsey and greet others with the hems of my skirt,
Yet remain icy, like a frozen dessert.
To laugh and embrace just like the sun,
Carry loving personalities made to stun.
Charm others with unmistakable respect.
To embrace life as if no regrets.
I'd love so much to stay cultured and not tacky,
Is there a balance of sexy without the skimpy?
Showing beauty, more than skin deep,
Yet indulge in dresses like the only sin.
I'd present language like a full makeup,
Confidence like black gloves, I'll certainly do with no fake ups.
To step in to a scene with elegance and poise,
Classy heels with a good height choice.
Convey love with a smile,
To blow a kiss from a mile.
To be missed when not around,
To be felt without making a sound.
To say so much with simply the twinkle in my eye.
To be timeless, never out of style.
for someone who literally asked "how to stay classy", idk la hahahaha
Wednesday 7 May 2014
Pretty, beautiful things.
"I'm not the best around pretty, beautiful things."
I'm not the best around pretty, beautiful things.
Pretty things make me stammer, stutter,
Clamp up and feel like butter.
Things that shimmer,
Ugh, they make me quiver.
I'm not the best around pretty, beautiful things.
I shy away & feel inferior,
Wondering what it's like with their interiors.
Are they just cold or really made of gold?
Built to perfection, only missing the tiniest fractions?
I'm not the best around pretty, beautiful things.
I'd think to myself, are we really of the same species? (Really?)
I always secretly wish I could conveniently sink into the abyss.
This attraction anyone would feel,
Not just an appeal, nothing modestly concealed.
That they are blessed beyond bliss,
Their being stuns the eyes and intrigues the mind,
That laugh, surely you didn't miss.
Leaving imaginary footprints behind their every mile,
One could almost hear the shout 'lovely' with their single smile.
Yes, everyone has a lovely soul.
Some just appear lovelier, some just easier, (to behold)
But sadly in our world no one really has the time,
Society only eyes for the ones causing this crime.
The pretty, beautiful and the wild.
Call it envy but I assure you, I'm more beguiled.
Wouldn't you too, be curious to know
What it's like to be pretty, perfect and admired?
Oh, would you say 'what a life to be desired?'
I'm not the best around pretty, beautiful things.
Pretty things make me stammer, stutter,
Clamp up and feel like butter.
Things that shimmer,
Ugh, they make me quiver.
I'm not the best around pretty, beautiful things.
I shy away & feel inferior,
Wondering what it's like with their interiors.
Are they just cold or really made of gold?
Built to perfection, only missing the tiniest fractions?
I'm not the best around pretty, beautiful things.
I'd think to myself, are we really of the same species? (Really?)
I always secretly wish I could conveniently sink into the abyss.
This attraction anyone would feel,
Not just an appeal, nothing modestly concealed.
That they are blessed beyond bliss,
Their being stuns the eyes and intrigues the mind,
That laugh, surely you didn't miss.
Leaving imaginary footprints behind their every mile,
One could almost hear the shout 'lovely' with their single smile.
Yes, everyone has a lovely soul.
Some just appear lovelier, some just easier, (to behold)
But sadly in our world no one really has the time,
Society only eyes for the ones causing this crime.
The pretty, beautiful and the wild.
Call it envy but I assure you, I'm more beguiled.
Wouldn't you too, be curious to know
What it's like to be pretty, perfect and admired?
Oh, would you say 'what a life to be desired?'
Saturday 12 April 2014
A Father's Love.
He knew you.
Barely a ball of flesh,
knitted in a womb.
Your hands, they formed
Clasped tightly,
His fingers they held.
Even before your body was formed, your heart beat to His lullaby.
Even before your body took shape, your soul knew His very name.
You took your first step and everyone clapped.
Your first fall and everyone laughed.
He held you gently and taught you trust and love,
Trust in your parents,
Trust in the steady ground.
Trust that this Earth was yours to keep for now.
He saw you.
Cladded in a hand-me-down bright yellow shirt,
Khaki green shorts and was that crocs?
Your first step becoming your first step into a new school,
Your first fall becomes your first fail.
Your first crawl becomes your first bawl.
You briefly remember the details of your childhood.
You barely remember the traces of you growing older.
In inches you grew, and grew taller.
But do you know, who held you high from your shoulders?
He remembered you.
Somehow,
You can't quite remember how the actual hell you thrived in
A bloody hellhole like this.
Bloody walls with no roof.
Bloody steps with no ground.
You were better off dead.
Your sister is non-existent as far as you're concerned,
The house is a mad ground and your parents,
Fighting wars against wars.
You were better off fostered.
Fine, why do you care except somehow your case is now.
Did they say home is where the heart is?
Then what if you had no heart?
Feels already like you have no home.
Fighting all day and night long, each man for himself.
Only shadows seem to creep and crawl and follow in your falls.
And in all these, would I dare tell you He was beside you through it all?
He loves you.
In so many ways you can never imagine.
Your every waking moment, timed so perfectly.
Slumber creeps in with His whisper "Goodnight specially".
And when you cry yourself to sleep,
He holds the tears and little sniffs.
You say that He's forsaken you
When He sits silently by your side.
Say He's gone quiet,
When you scream and shout and cry.
You say He doesn't love you,
He sent His only son to die.
Just because He loves you, doesn't mean He won't let you cry.
My father taught me how to swim after I knew how sinking felt like.
My papa taught me how to dream after I swallowed some pride.
A Father's Love is a painful one,
Like flying a little kite.
You pull and tug that little string but it won't understand why.
A Father's Love is a painful one,
true love doesn't deny
One the rights to be 'alive'
or choose to live a lie.
A Father's Love is a heartbreaking one,
you teach and love at the same time.
True love is when you tell your son,
"You can do whatever you like.
But please remember I am here, always by your side."
This is Love, not a guarantee of no hardship, not a guarantee of no pain.
Overprotection causes more harm than anything it would gain.
This is Love, undenying, not self seeking, not envious, never keeping any records of wrong, always persevering.
Always persevering.
Barely a ball of flesh,
knitted in a womb.
Your hands, they formed
Clasped tightly,
His fingers they held.
Even before your body was formed, your heart beat to His lullaby.
Even before your body took shape, your soul knew His very name.
You took your first step and everyone clapped.
Your first fall and everyone laughed.
He held you gently and taught you trust and love,
Trust in your parents,
Trust in the steady ground.
Trust that this Earth was yours to keep for now.
He saw you.
Cladded in a hand-me-down bright yellow shirt,
Khaki green shorts and was that crocs?
Your first step becoming your first step into a new school,
Your first fall becomes your first fail.
Your first crawl becomes your first bawl.
You briefly remember the details of your childhood.
You barely remember the traces of you growing older.
In inches you grew, and grew taller.
But do you know, who held you high from your shoulders?
He remembered you.
Somehow,
You can't quite remember how the actual hell you thrived in
A bloody hellhole like this.
Bloody walls with no roof.
Bloody steps with no ground.
You were better off dead.
Your sister is non-existent as far as you're concerned,
The house is a mad ground and your parents,
Fighting wars against wars.
You were better off fostered.
Fine, why do you care except somehow your case is now.
Did they say home is where the heart is?
Then what if you had no heart?
Feels already like you have no home.
Fighting all day and night long, each man for himself.
Only shadows seem to creep and crawl and follow in your falls.
And in all these, would I dare tell you He was beside you through it all?
He loves you.
In so many ways you can never imagine.
Your every waking moment, timed so perfectly.
Slumber creeps in with His whisper "Goodnight specially".
And when you cry yourself to sleep,
He holds the tears and little sniffs.
You say that He's forsaken you
When He sits silently by your side.
Say He's gone quiet,
When you scream and shout and cry.
You say He doesn't love you,
He sent His only son to die.
Just because He loves you, doesn't mean He won't let you cry.
My father taught me how to swim after I knew how sinking felt like.
My papa taught me how to dream after I swallowed some pride.
A Father's Love is a painful one,
Like flying a little kite.
You pull and tug that little string but it won't understand why.
A Father's Love is a painful one,
true love doesn't deny
One the rights to be 'alive'
or choose to live a lie.
A Father's Love is a heartbreaking one,
you teach and love at the same time.
True love is when you tell your son,
"You can do whatever you like.
But please remember I am here, always by your side."
This is Love, not a guarantee of no hardship, not a guarantee of no pain.
Overprotection causes more harm than anything it would gain.
This is Love, undenying, not self seeking, not envious, never keeping any records of wrong, always persevering.
Always persevering.
Wednesday 26 March 2014
Serenity; the state of calm, peace and untroubled.
Peace.
Dawn isn't just my favourite time.
My favourite time is that few hours between midnight to morning. The early AMs.
Well, it is a love-hate relationship.
I stay in Singapore. And this is probably a huge contribution to why I enjoy the wee ungodly hours. No no, not because of the usual 'Singapore is so stressful and all' although it might be a partial reason to my point that Singaporeans sleep really late. I remember that being in other countries, especially western-european countries, my favourite timings were dusk. By then, shops were closing, everyone was tired and lights were going off.
See, calmness is beautiful whenever and wherever but to fully enjoy it, physical quietness and everything comes to play.
I love the times when it's way past my bedtime and all I hear is the whirring of the screen monitors and the beating of my own thoughts.
Why is it a love-hate relationship though? Because calmness doesn't always come. And those early AMs are also responsible for things like bad decisions (ted mosby i gotcha), late night thoughts (taylor swift i bet u write all your songs in my AMs) and losing yourself into the darkness.
I learn to appreciate how peace feels without the usual disturbances of the crazy human brain. (When the brain isn't trying to be funny and making a joke outta me, or overthinking every second.) I stay up well and could go on for hours at these favourite timings.
(Someone once asked: "Could it be that because at such timings, your brain is already asleep and your heart is still awake??")
I learn that such moments of repose, serenity, cannot be felt every waking moment and cannot be controlled. The many times we need it, the many times we cannot find it. Some people have realised that and have tried to maintain an image of calmness all the time no matter what situation. Depending on reasons, example, to be a support to others or whatsoever, these people are still frantic and breaking inside.
Only true calmness can be felt from inside and the feeling is so hard to describe.
Like a break of light through the winter that casts a warm sensation on its glow, it's most beautiful in the midst of white snow and cold. Peacefulness is most beautiful in a crazy crazy world.
Haven't written anything or completed most posts because of how I've been feeling about writing lately!
Sometimes I like to wake up hours before I am supposed to and lie in my bed and think.
I would watch the sun slowly peak and come up through the edge of my window as I sink into a day-dream of my own. Maybe night dreams aren't enough, but here, I don't struggle with crazy weird dreams or nightmares and dreams I don't understand due to my subconscious mind. I control my thoughts and at this very moment between the time of everyone waking and me falling back asleep, everything is calm. There's just something about the calmness of mind that is probably the best feeling in the world. To feel sane in a world of insane.
Just for the moment is
So so beautiful.
The state of tranquility at it's finest.
Serenity.
Just something about the calmness of mind that is probably the best feeling in the world. To feel sane in a world of insane. Time slows down a little for you.
Dawn isn't just my favourite time.
My favourite time is that few hours between midnight to morning. The early AMs.
Well, it is a love-hate relationship.
I stay in Singapore. And this is probably a huge contribution to why I enjoy the wee ungodly hours. No no, not because of the usual 'Singapore is so stressful and all' although it might be a partial reason to my point that Singaporeans sleep really late. I remember that being in other countries, especially western-european countries, my favourite timings were dusk. By then, shops were closing, everyone was tired and lights were going off.
See, calmness is beautiful whenever and wherever but to fully enjoy it, physical quietness and everything comes to play.
I love the times when it's way past my bedtime and all I hear is the whirring of the screen monitors and the beating of my own thoughts.
Why is it a love-hate relationship though? Because calmness doesn't always come. And those early AMs are also responsible for things like bad decisions (ted mosby i gotcha), late night thoughts (taylor swift i bet u write all your songs in my AMs) and losing yourself into the darkness.
I learn to appreciate how peace feels without the usual disturbances of the crazy human brain. (When the brain isn't trying to be funny and making a joke outta me, or overthinking every second.) I stay up well and could go on for hours at these favourite timings.
(Someone once asked: "Could it be that because at such timings, your brain is already asleep and your heart is still awake??")
I learn that such moments of repose, serenity, cannot be felt every waking moment and cannot be controlled. The many times we need it, the many times we cannot find it. Some people have realised that and have tried to maintain an image of calmness all the time no matter what situation. Depending on reasons, example, to be a support to others or whatsoever, these people are still frantic and breaking inside.
Only true calmness can be felt from inside and the feeling is so hard to describe.
Like a break of light through the winter that casts a warm sensation on its glow, it's most beautiful in the midst of white snow and cold. Peacefulness is most beautiful in a crazy crazy world.
Haven't written anything or completed most posts because of how I've been feeling about writing lately!
Wednesday 5 February 2014
Friends
What if love came with a choice.
Looks,
Height,
Weight,
Popularity.
What if friends came with prices.
Are you pretty?
Are you funny?
Do you dress the way
Everyone
Else
Does?
How many pints can you chug?
What kinds of music do you
Listen To?
Can you keep up?
Keep up with their paces?
What if happiness in life required certain standards.
Colours of hair,
Appearances and faces,
Skin tones,
Brawny and braces?
Like platters in a buffet,
People walking, choosing,
This look's appetising,
This I'll save for later.
This I'll avoid.
It isn't any of the tastes I like.
The greatest blisses in life isn't just being able to say "I am loved for what I'm great at, what I'm good at and what I can do well."
The greatest blessing,
Possibly,
Is to be able to say, "I am accepted, I am loved. I am adored for what I never will be. I am appreciated for what I'm not good at. I am dear to people because of what I will never look like…
I am beloved because I am nothing but me."
Not just even though, but because I am imperfectly perfect.
Looks,
Height,
Weight,
Popularity.
What if friends came with prices.
Are you pretty?
Are you funny?
Do you dress the way
Everyone
Else
Does?
How many pints can you chug?
What kinds of music do you
Listen To?
Can you keep up?
Keep up with their paces?
What if happiness in life required certain standards.
Colours of hair,
Appearances and faces,
Skin tones,
Brawny and braces?
Like platters in a buffet,
People walking, choosing,
This look's appetising,
This I'll save for later.
This I'll avoid.
It isn't any of the tastes I like.
The greatest blisses in life isn't just being able to say "I am loved for what I'm great at, what I'm good at and what I can do well."
The greatest blessing,
Possibly,
Is to be able to say, "I am accepted, I am loved. I am adored for what I never will be. I am appreciated for what I'm not good at. I am dear to people because of what I will never look like…
I am beloved because I am nothing but me."
Not just even though, but because I am imperfectly perfect.
"Friends are hard to find. In a lifetime
you only get a few. And when you find them, you always know them by sight and
heart alone, you always grow a little bit taller in your soul, and you know you
have been blessed just to know them." - Ashley Rice
Tuesday 4 February 2014
Snowflakes
Have you ever tasted a snowflake?
Like standing outside a front porch, or in a large field, sticking your tongue out and chasing those tiny white things and then watching one fall into your mouth.
It's too small to taste, just a tiny speck of cold.
(But then again, it's just water and probably tastes plain and... Well... Water-y?)
That's what some things are to me.
Snowflakes.
Specks of pretty glass shards made of ice and water that vanishes and dissolves the moment it reaches your lips. And it's nothing but a beautiful cold feeling. Each snowflake is unique and special on it's own, not one the same as the other. But if you don't catch them, they fall to the ground either to dissolve or form something greater; pretty white snow on the ground.
Doesn't it kind of feel like life?
Every pretty moment.
\(^-^)/
I love snowflakes.
"Falling slowly,
eyes that met me
And I can't go back." - Falling Slowly (Once)
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=falling%20slowly%20glen%20hansard%20and%20marketa%20irglova&sm=3
Like standing outside a front porch, or in a large field, sticking your tongue out and chasing those tiny white things and then watching one fall into your mouth.
It's too small to taste, just a tiny speck of cold.
(But then again, it's just water and probably tastes plain and... Well... Water-y?)
That's what some things are to me.
Snowflakes.
Specks of pretty glass shards made of ice and water that vanishes and dissolves the moment it reaches your lips. And it's nothing but a beautiful cold feeling. Each snowflake is unique and special on it's own, not one the same as the other. But if you don't catch them, they fall to the ground either to dissolve or form something greater; pretty white snow on the ground.
Doesn't it kind of feel like life?
Every pretty moment.
\(^-^)/
I love snowflakes.
"Falling slowly,
eyes that met me
And I can't go back." - Falling Slowly (Once)
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=falling%20slowly%20glen%20hansard%20and%20marketa%20irglova&sm=3
Sunday 2 February 2014
Judgement and thoughts
Would anyone ever get it? Lol. It's such a frenzy in here.
Maybe it's because
She sees things no one else does,
Hears words no one else says.
The chilly winds that
Make people
Sink
Deeper
Into
Their huge coats and kaleidoscopic scarves.
The invisible strings that
Pulls
And
Tugs
The wagging tongues of men as they speak.
The winds are too harsh,
Too cold.
The tongues lash,
Things are so old.
Why do people hide in their coats
Because of the wind?
When tongues roll and wag,
Isn't it just the same?
Nothing but air circulation.
They ask, why?
Just go with the flow.
She's standing still.
Winds are stronger in her direction.
She has to start walking again.
"She sees things no one else does,
Hears words no one else says."
Why won't people see?
The things that drives her mad.
Maybe it's because
She sees things no one else does,
Hears words no one else says.
The chilly winds that
Make people
Sink
Deeper
Into
Their huge coats and kaleidoscopic scarves.
The invisible strings that
Pulls
And
Tugs
The wagging tongues of men as they speak.
The winds are too harsh,
Too cold.
The tongues lash,
Things are so old.
Why do people hide in their coats
Because of the wind?
When tongues roll and wag,
Isn't it just the same?
Nothing but air circulation.
They ask, why?
Just go with the flow.
She's standing still.
Winds are stronger in her direction.
She has to start walking again.
"She sees things no one else does,
Hears words no one else says."
Why won't people see?
The things that drives her mad.
Trust
trust
trəst/
noun
- 1.firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something."relations have to be built on trust"
When you believe that someone has your best interests at heart and you give them the special attention for the entitlement of their opinion.
Do you know it's possible to love someone emotionally without trusting?
Or to trust someone without loving emotionally?
Though it is harder to not trust someone you love emotionally.
But,
You can.
Why harder though?
Because you're emotionally attached to the person.
Emotions from the heart always make a mess out of the plans we already formed in out minds.
Choose not to trust the person and lets see how long you won't give in to the care and concern you have for him/her.
In the end, you end up doing the same thing.
Opening up.
With or without trust,
Possibly even knowing that it's the biggest and wrongest move.
Remembering why you never trusted in the first place?
Still opening up even when you know you've handed a murderer a gun.
Still opening up even when you know this would be the reason for sleepless nights and countless nightmares.
Some people choose isolation, miserable loneliness to avoid this risk. People still come. Maybe even more than what usually. They come with hammers and anything that would deliver an impact, trying to break that wall that was built up. When that doesn't work, they come with treaties of peace and promises and weird gifts. Gifts of hope and love in trade for just a little faith. As though they would reach treasures on the other side.
But the other side is a wreck. Far from treasures. The right people are the ones that realise this soon enough.
Maybe someone comes with a wrecking ball?
I'd freak out.
Miley Cyrus.
Just wanted to say, even if you're struggling with trust, the journey is when you take the first step to believe in yourself. I guess even I am still struggle with this.
"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not in the branches but her own wings. You've got to believe in yourself."
Monday 27 January 2014
Decalper
She sits in the corners of your heart,
Here all is calm, just a little cold.
The dusts are clearing, some soul searching.
The walls are smooth, paint job's done.
Everything's new.
Not a faint sign of
what it used to be.
Everything's fresh.
A fresh start, starting all afresh.
Fill, fill, fill.
With love and doodles.
Hearts, flowers, chocolates and dolls.
Isn't it a little strange,
This room was made just for you?
Nothing speaks,
Nothing says.
Nothing like the empty dark room it used to be.
Almost feels like
Nothing
Ever
Took
Place
Here.
Once upon a time,
It used to be.
Once upon a time,
This place was nothing
But an uninhabited land.
Not a single one in sight.
Because of what she left behind.
Monstrosity, pain, fear and agony.
All the darkness left behind.
No one could stay, no one could run.
She tore the place up with nothing,
Nothing but her own needs to satisfy.
Nothing but her own hurts that could never come by.
The room's bright white and clean.
Not a hint of gray, or black or pain.
Hope at last can maybe be seen.
Decalper Alma
Decalper Alma
Sometimes the one you want may not be the one you need.
"How've you been? Can I come in? Just came to get my things and then I guess I'm leaving." - By Now
Monday 13 January 2014
The funny thing that holds holes.
Holes.
(i am properly back from serious writing)
That word that refers to gaps, crack, pit, space.
Holes,
What a strange strange word.
I mean, am I the only one that thinks so? That a word for empty, void, nothingness is a word?
Holes is literally nothing in a something. (Hahaha that sounds funny.)
I wonder why we name something that means nothing.
Hey! My cheese has holes all over them!!
Hey! My cheese has nothing all over them!!
My cheese has empty pockets of nothing in them!!
I think the word is terribly funny and I feel like I'm the only one.
Only one
Thinking like this.
Your mouth is a round tunnel of nothing!!
There is a hole in my heart. No one ever says there is a heart in my hole. BUT THINK ABOUT IT.
HOLES CAME FIRST. Because holes are nothing! Without a heart, isn't it one big hole?
Technically, your heart is in your hole. hahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahaha okay. not funny. sounds quite scary.
I hope I didn't scare you. I'm just trying out this thing with typing immediately whatever comes into my queer brain.
But maybe, we name something that means nothing because nothing can always be something in a different context.
What do you think?
(i am properly back from serious writing)
Sometimes idk why I'm so strange.
Friday 10 January 2014
Love
Someone asked me what love felt like.
I guess I knew but it felt like I didn't.
I knew because I knew how it felt.
I didn't cuz 'you don't really know something until you can explain it'.
I tried anyway.
But the harder I tried to think.
I guess I couldn't quite figure myself what it was.
So I did my best to explain
How it felt being loved.
I guess when you feel loved, it's like lightning hits you and you literally just lose it. All common senses, all proper thinking abilities. You smile stupid, you laugh goofily at everything and you really do get all warm and fuzzy inside.
Makes you feel like you can run through the whole country and still nothing will bring you down. You look at everything and everything seems so beautiful. Like for that little moment, it's like you catch a tiny glimpse of your purpose in this world. That purest moment, its like…well. You belong. Just in that moment you're not a waste of space and…suddenly like you deserve a place here on Earth.
You put on your headphones and every song is a love song. You look at the things you'd usually say no to and think 'ah, why not??'. You ignore the things that usually bug you and notice everything you usually don't in a beautiful way.
And you just want to hug everyone! Haha! Yeah that's it! Especially when they ask 'why are you so happy?'. Like u just wish everyone had a feel of it. Or like somehow, some way that you could try explain it with words to them. You want to scream it out to the whole world.
It may be very different for everyone but love at its purest and simplest with forever feel the same in my opinion.
Everyone wants to feel this way. But in truth we all have it inside. What it takes to fall in love.
But for everyone, lets not rush into it. It doesn't just take the right person. It has to be the right time and the perfect place to find it. Finding it too soon or too early
Is simply
Just a
Waste
Of its fullest potential.
So i guess it might be hard to wait but when it comes, it will be worth forever holding on and waiting.
I thought to myself: Maybe I'll write this down. Because this might be the closest I'd ever be to describing what real love feels to me. What being loved feels truly. And I, don't want to ever forget how it feels.
(Hope it isn't too cheesy for you)
I guess I knew but it felt like I didn't.
I knew because I knew how it felt.
I didn't cuz 'you don't really know something until you can explain it'.
I tried anyway.
But the harder I tried to think.
I guess I couldn't quite figure myself what it was.
So I did my best to explain
How it felt being loved.
I guess when you feel loved, it's like lightning hits you and you literally just lose it. All common senses, all proper thinking abilities. You smile stupid, you laugh goofily at everything and you really do get all warm and fuzzy inside.
Makes you feel like you can run through the whole country and still nothing will bring you down. You look at everything and everything seems so beautiful. Like for that little moment, it's like you catch a tiny glimpse of your purpose in this world. That purest moment, its like…well. You belong. Just in that moment you're not a waste of space and…suddenly like you deserve a place here on Earth.
You put on your headphones and every song is a love song. You look at the things you'd usually say no to and think 'ah, why not??'. You ignore the things that usually bug you and notice everything you usually don't in a beautiful way.
And you just want to hug everyone! Haha! Yeah that's it! Especially when they ask 'why are you so happy?'. Like u just wish everyone had a feel of it. Or like somehow, some way that you could try explain it with words to them. You want to scream it out to the whole world.
It may be very different for everyone but love at its purest and simplest with forever feel the same in my opinion.
Everyone wants to feel this way. But in truth we all have it inside. What it takes to fall in love.
But for everyone, lets not rush into it. It doesn't just take the right person. It has to be the right time and the perfect place to find it. Finding it too soon or too early
Is simply
Just a
Waste
Of its fullest potential.
So i guess it might be hard to wait but when it comes, it will be worth forever holding on and waiting.
I thought to myself: Maybe I'll write this down. Because this might be the closest I'd ever be to describing what real love feels to me. What being loved feels truly. And I, don't want to ever forget how it feels.
(Hope it isn't too cheesy for you)
Worthwhile
She leans in for the big secret.
Her head swooning with fear and excitement,
Her feet, they're barely touching the ground.
Fear.
Excitement.
Thrill.
Fearful of the unknown.
More, more, more excitement
All about the untold.
Thrill in every step she took.
Inching deeper and deeper.
Her eyes are closed
Her hands over them.
'What is it?'
In her mind it gets swirlier.
Maybe it was the lack of sleep.
Maybe the alcohol.
She thinks.
She barely knows this guy.
'Who would dare
Claim to know
The greatest mysteries of this Earth?'
She barely knows anyone here.
Then again,
Who would she consider
Someone she really knew?
A jolt hits her from behind.
She screams.
She falls.
Her eyes instantly opens.
Fear.
She catches her breath in time.
Splash
She screams.
Still shocked.
She screams.
Laughing.
'How dare he?'
She stops thinking.
Starts feeling.
Feeling her fingers and her arms,
Like it's the first time in a long time.
She swims out of the pool.
He runs laughing too.
She jumps.
He lets her drag him in with
Her
Weight.
They fall.
They laugh.
Everyone else,
They laughed.
They envy.
Acted like they wouldn't understand.
It was too --
What's that word?
Ridiculous.
Unsightly.
He didn't care.
It was what she needed.
From someone
She'd never see again.
Someone
She'd never love.
Soaking wet.
Drenched from
Head
To
Toe.
That night,
Her head was in the clouds.
All that mattered was that it stayed.
Stayed right there,
For awhile.
Fear and Excitement.
That was what he gave her.
She fell in love with what he gave her.
Her head swooning with fear and excitement,
Her feet, they're barely touching the ground.
Fear.
Excitement.
Thrill.
Fearful of the unknown.
More, more, more excitement
All about the untold.
Thrill in every step she took.
Inching deeper and deeper.
Her eyes are closed
Her hands over them.
'What is it?'
In her mind it gets swirlier.
Maybe it was the lack of sleep.
Maybe the alcohol.
She thinks.
She barely knows this guy.
'Who would dare
Claim to know
The greatest mysteries of this Earth?'
She barely knows anyone here.
Then again,
Who would she consider
Someone she really knew?
A jolt hits her from behind.
She screams.
She falls.
Her eyes instantly opens.
Fear.
She catches her breath in time.
Splash
She screams.
Still shocked.
She screams.
Laughing.
'How dare he?'
She stops thinking.
Starts feeling.
Feeling her fingers and her arms,
Like it's the first time in a long time.
She swims out of the pool.
He runs laughing too.
She jumps.
He lets her drag him in with
Her
Weight.
They fall.
They laugh.
Everyone else,
They laughed.
They envy.
Acted like they wouldn't understand.
It was too --
What's that word?
Ridiculous.
Unsightly.
He didn't care.
It was what she needed.
From someone
She'd never see again.
Someone
She'd never love.
Soaking wet.
Drenched from
Head
To
Toe.
That night,
Her head was in the clouds.
All that mattered was that it stayed.
Stayed right there,
For awhile.
Fear and Excitement.
That was what he gave her.
She fell in love with what he gave her.
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