Decalper

She sits in the corners of your heart,

Here all is calm, just a little cold.

The dusts are clearing, some soul searching.

The walls are smooth, paint job's done.

Everything's new. 

Not a faint sign of 

what it used to be.

Everything's fresh.

A fresh start, starting all afresh.

Fill, fill, fill.

With love and doodles.

Hearts, flowers, chocolates and dolls.

Isn't it a little strange, 

This room was made just for you?

Nothing speaks,

Nothing says.

Nothing like the empty dark room it used to be.

Almost feels like

Nothing

Ever

Took 

Place

Here.

Once upon a time,

It used to be.

Once upon a time,

This place was nothing

But an uninhabited land.

Not a single one in sight.

Because of what she left behind.

Monstrosity, pain, fear and agony.

All the darkness left behind. 

No one could stay, no one could run.

She tore the place up with nothing,

Nothing but her own needs to satisfy.

Nothing but her own hurts that could never come by.

The room's bright white and clean. 

Not a hint of gray, or black or pain.

Hope at last can maybe be seen.

Decalper Alma

Sometimes the one you want may not be the one you need.

"How've you been? Can I come in? Just came to get my things and then I guess I'm leaving." - By Now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXLXlwK9CYc

The funny thing that holds holes.

Holes.

That word that refers to gaps, crack, pit, space.

Holes,

What a strange strange word.

I mean, am I the only one that thinks so? That a word for empty, void, nothingness is a word?

Holes is literally nothing in a something. (Hahaha that sounds funny.)

I wonder why we name something that means nothing.

Hey! My cheese has holes all over them!!

Hey! My cheese has nothing all over them!!

My cheese has empty pockets of nothing in them!!

I think the word is terribly funny and I feel like I'm the only one.

Only one

Thinking like this. 

Your mouth is a round tunnel of nothing!!

There is a hole in my heart. No one ever says there is a heart in my hole. BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

HOLES CAME FIRST. Because holes are nothing! Without a heart, isn't it one big hole? 

Technically, your heart is in your hole. hahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahaha okay. not funny. sounds quite scary. 

I hope I didn't scare you. I'm just trying out this thing with typing immediately whatever comes into my queer brain. 

But maybe, we name something that means nothing because nothing can always be something in a different context. 

What do you think?

 (i am properly back from serious writing)

Sometimes idk why I'm so strange.

Love

Someone asked me what love felt like.
I guess I knew but it felt like I didn't.
I knew because I knew how it felt.
I didn't cuz 'you don't really know something until you can explain it'.
I tried anyway.
But the harder I tried to think.
I guess I couldn't quite figure myself what it was.
So I did my best to explain
How it felt being loved.

I guess when you feel loved, it's like lightning hits you and you literally just lose it. All common senses, all proper thinking abilities. You smile stupid, you laugh goofily at everything and you really do get all warm and fuzzy inside.

Makes you feel like you can run through the whole country and still nothing will bring you down. You look at everything and everything seems so beautiful. Like for that little moment, it's like you catch a tiny glimpse of your purpose in this world. That purest moment, its like…well. You belong. Just in that moment you're not a waste of space and…suddenly like you deserve a place here on Earth.

You put on your headphones and every song is a love song. You look at the things you'd usually say no to and think 'ah, why not??'. You ignore the things that usually bug you and notice everything you usually don't in a beautiful way.

And you just want to hug everyone! Haha! Yeah that's it! Especially when they ask 'why are you so happy?'. Like u just wish everyone had a feel of it. Or like somehow, some way that you could try explain it with words to them. You want to scream it out to the whole world.

It may be very different for everyone but love at its purest and simplest with forever feel the same in my opinion.

Everyone wants to feel this way. But in truth we all have it inside. What it takes to fall in love.
But for everyone, lets not rush into it. It doesn't just take the right person. It has to be the right time and the perfect place to find it. Finding it too soon or too early
Is simply
Just a
Waste
Of its fullest potential.
So i guess it might be hard to wait but when it comes, it will be worth forever holding on and waiting.

I thought to myself: Maybe I'll write this down. Because this might be the closest I'd ever be to describing what real love feels to me. What being loved feels truly. And I, don't want to ever forget how it feels.

(Hope it isn't too cheesy for you)

Worthwhile

She leans in for the big secret.
Her head swooning with fear and excitement,
Her feet, they're barely touching the ground.
Fear.
Excitement.
Thrill.

Fearful of the unknown.
More, more, more excitement
All about the untold.
Thrill in every step she took.
Inching deeper and deeper.
Her eyes are closed
Her hands over them.
'What is it?'

In her mind it gets swirlier.
Maybe it was the lack of sleep.
Maybe the alcohol.
She thinks.
She barely knows this guy.

'Who would dare
Claim to know

The greatest mysteries of this Earth?'

She barely knows anyone here.
Then again,
Who would she consider
Someone she really knew?

A jolt hits her from behind.
She screams.
She falls.
Her eyes instantly opens.
Fear.
She catches her breath in time.

Splash

She screams.
Still shocked.
She screams.
Laughing.
'How dare he?'
She stops thinking.
Starts feeling.
Feeling her fingers and her arms,
Like it's the first time in a long time.

She swims out of the pool.
He runs laughing too.
She jumps.
He lets her drag him in with
Her
Weight.

They fall.
They laugh.

Everyone else,
They laughed.
They envy.
Acted like they wouldn't understand.
It was too --
What's that word?
Ridiculous.
Unsightly.

He didn't care.
It was what she needed.
From someone
She'd never see again.
Someone
She'd never love.

Soaking wet.
Drenched from
Head
To
Toe.
That night,
Her head was in the clouds.

All that mattered was that it stayed.
Stayed right there,
For awhile.

Fear and Excitement.

That was what he gave her.
She fell in love with what he gave her.