He knew you.
Barely a ball of flesh,
knitted in a womb.
Your hands, they formed
Clasped tightly,
His fingers they held.
Even before your body was formed, your heart beat to His lullaby.
Even before your body took shape, your soul knew His very name.
You took your first step and everyone clapped.
Your first fall and everyone laughed.
He held you gently and taught you trust and love,
Trust in your parents,
Trust in the steady ground.
Trust that this Earth was yours to keep for now.
He saw you.
Cladded in a hand-me-down bright yellow shirt,
Khaki green shorts and was that crocs?
Your first step becoming your first step into a new school,
Your first fall becomes your first fail.
Your first crawl becomes your first bawl.
You briefly remember the details of your childhood.
You barely remember the traces of you growing older.
In inches you grew, and grew taller.
But do you know, who held you high from your shoulders?
He remembered you.
Somehow,
You can't quite remember how the actual hell you thrived in
A bloody hellhole like this.
Bloody walls with no roof.
Bloody steps with no ground.
You were better off dead.
Your sister is non-existent as far as you're concerned,
The house is a mad ground and your parents,
Fighting wars against wars.
You were better off fostered.
Fine, why do you care except somehow your case is now.
Did they say home is where the heart is?
Then what if you had no heart?
Feels already like you have no home.
Fighting all day and night long, each man for himself.
Only shadows seem to creep and crawl and follow in your falls.
And in all these, would I dare tell you He was beside you through it all?
He loves you.
In so many ways you can never imagine.
Your every waking moment, timed so perfectly.
Slumber creeps in with His whisper "Goodnight specially".
And when you cry yourself to sleep,
He holds the tears and little sniffs.
You say that He's forsaken you
When He sits silently by your side.
Say He's gone quiet,
When you scream and shout and cry.
You say He doesn't love you,
He sent His only son to die.
Just because He loves you, doesn't mean He won't let you cry.
My father taught me how to swim after I knew how sinking felt like.
My papa taught me how to dream after I swallowed some pride.
A Father's Love is a painful one,
Like flying a little kite.
You pull and tug that little string but it won't understand why.
A Father's Love is a painful one,
true love doesn't deny
One the rights to be 'alive'
or choose to live a lie.
A Father's Love is a heartbreaking one,
you teach and love at the same time.
True love is when you tell your son,
"You can do whatever you like.
But please remember I am here, always by your side."
This is Love, not a guarantee of no hardship, not a guarantee of no pain.
Overprotection causes more harm than anything it would gain.
This is Love, undenying, not self seeking, not envious, never keeping any records of wrong, always persevering.
Always persevering.
