Decalper

She sits in the corners of your heart,

Here all is calm, just a little cold.

The dusts are clearing, some soul searching.

The walls are smooth, paint job's done.

Everything's new. 

Not a faint sign of 

what it used to be.

Everything's fresh.

A fresh start, starting all afresh.

Fill, fill, fill.

With love and doodles.

Hearts, flowers, chocolates and dolls.

Isn't it a little strange, 

This room was made just for you?

Nothing speaks,

Nothing says.

Nothing like the empty dark room it used to be.

Almost feels like

Nothing

Ever

Took 

Place

Here.

Once upon a time,

It used to be.

Once upon a time,

This place was nothing

But an uninhabited land.

Not a single one in sight.

Because of what she left behind.

Monstrosity, pain, fear and agony.

All the darkness left behind. 

No one could stay, no one could run.

She tore the place up with nothing,

Nothing but her own needs to satisfy.

Nothing but her own hurts that could never come by.

The room's bright white and clean. 

Not a hint of gray, or black or pain.

Hope at last can maybe be seen.

Decalper Alma

Sometimes the one you want may not be the one you need.

"How've you been? Can I come in? Just came to get my things and then I guess I'm leaving." - By Now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXLXlwK9CYc

The funny thing that holds holes.

Holes.

That word that refers to gaps, crack, pit, space.

Holes,

What a strange strange word.

I mean, am I the only one that thinks so? That a word for empty, void, nothingness is a word?

Holes is literally nothing in a something. (Hahaha that sounds funny.)

I wonder why we name something that means nothing.

Hey! My cheese has holes all over them!!

Hey! My cheese has nothing all over them!!

My cheese has empty pockets of nothing in them!!

I think the word is terribly funny and I feel like I'm the only one.

Only one

Thinking like this. 

Your mouth is a round tunnel of nothing!!

There is a hole in my heart. No one ever says there is a heart in my hole. BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

HOLES CAME FIRST. Because holes are nothing! Without a heart, isn't it one big hole? 

Technically, your heart is in your hole. hahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahaha okay. not funny. sounds quite scary. 

I hope I didn't scare you. I'm just trying out this thing with typing immediately whatever comes into my queer brain. 

But maybe, we name something that means nothing because nothing can always be something in a different context. 

What do you think?

 (i am properly back from serious writing)

Sometimes idk why I'm so strange.

Love

Someone asked me what love felt like.
I guess I knew but it felt like I didn't.
I knew because I knew how it felt.
I didn't cuz 'you don't really know something until you can explain it'.
I tried anyway.
But the harder I tried to think.
I guess I couldn't quite figure myself what it was.
So I did my best to explain
How it felt being loved.

I guess when you feel loved, it's like lightning hits you and you literally just lose it. All common senses, all proper thinking abilities. You smile stupid, you laugh goofily at everything and you really do get all warm and fuzzy inside.

Makes you feel like you can run through the whole country and still nothing will bring you down. You look at everything and everything seems so beautiful. Like for that little moment, it's like you catch a tiny glimpse of your purpose in this world. That purest moment, its like…well. You belong. Just in that moment you're not a waste of space and…suddenly like you deserve a place here on Earth.

You put on your headphones and every song is a love song. You look at the things you'd usually say no to and think 'ah, why not??'. You ignore the things that usually bug you and notice everything you usually don't in a beautiful way.

And you just want to hug everyone! Haha! Yeah that's it! Especially when they ask 'why are you so happy?'. Like u just wish everyone had a feel of it. Or like somehow, some way that you could try explain it with words to them. You want to scream it out to the whole world.

It may be very different for everyone but love at its purest and simplest with forever feel the same in my opinion.

Everyone wants to feel this way. But in truth we all have it inside. What it takes to fall in love.
But for everyone, lets not rush into it. It doesn't just take the right person. It has to be the right time and the perfect place to find it. Finding it too soon or too early
Is simply
Just a
Waste
Of its fullest potential.
So i guess it might be hard to wait but when it comes, it will be worth forever holding on and waiting.

I thought to myself: Maybe I'll write this down. Because this might be the closest I'd ever be to describing what real love feels to me. What being loved feels truly. And I, don't want to ever forget how it feels.

(Hope it isn't too cheesy for you)

Worthwhile

She leans in for the big secret.
Her head swooning with fear and excitement,
Her feet, they're barely touching the ground.
Fear.
Excitement.
Thrill.

Fearful of the unknown.
More, more, more excitement
All about the untold.
Thrill in every step she took.
Inching deeper and deeper.
Her eyes are closed
Her hands over them.
'What is it?'

In her mind it gets swirlier.
Maybe it was the lack of sleep.
Maybe the alcohol.
She thinks.
She barely knows this guy.

'Who would dare
Claim to know

The greatest mysteries of this Earth?'

She barely knows anyone here.
Then again,
Who would she consider
Someone she really knew?

A jolt hits her from behind.
She screams.
She falls.
Her eyes instantly opens.
Fear.
She catches her breath in time.

Splash

She screams.
Still shocked.
She screams.
Laughing.
'How dare he?'
She stops thinking.
Starts feeling.
Feeling her fingers and her arms,
Like it's the first time in a long time.

She swims out of the pool.
He runs laughing too.
She jumps.
He lets her drag him in with
Her
Weight.

They fall.
They laugh.

Everyone else,
They laughed.
They envy.
Acted like they wouldn't understand.
It was too --
What's that word?
Ridiculous.
Unsightly.

He didn't care.
It was what she needed.
From someone
She'd never see again.
Someone
She'd never love.

Soaking wet.
Drenched from
Head
To
Toe.
That night,
Her head was in the clouds.

All that mattered was that it stayed.
Stayed right there,
For awhile.

Fear and Excitement.

That was what he gave her.
She fell in love with what he gave her.

NEW ZEALANDDDDDDDDD & SYDNEYYYYYYYY ;)

  Ahhh new z and sydney has been so fun idk what to say omg there are too many things and I have too much to post and I am so freaking lazy right now I'll do a short post about how I'm feeling right now.

  I am feeling such a mix of emotions right now! Tomorrow will be my flight back home. We will have to be at the airport at around 11am to prepare for our crazy 7hr flight at 1pm ): I'm waking earlier before that though! To do some last minute extra shopping :) meanwhile I am really feeling extremely happy and sad about leaving my paradise trip hehe. I really miss home and I really wanna see so many people again. I MISS SINGAPORE and I hate being bojio-ed everywhere and I want some freedom back but I also don't wanna leave clear lakes, blue skies, green grass and the pretty sydney city lights and night life. AHHHHH! I don't wanna leave the people I've met either!

  It has been an incredible trip and an extra fun break from everything for me but I know sooner or later I will kind of have to go back and face reality and all my problems hahaha and also Singapore being my home :))! Its super bitter sweet. I guess the thing about me and travelling could be because I enjoy visiting foreign places. Only for places that I know I'll never live in (excluding australia ;)), I love being a spectator and having lots distance. I love not belonging and I love looking from the outside wondering what it'll be like if I was living there. I find the idea of being a guest or visitor or a foreigner extremely fun and exciting. But of course it is what draws me to want to be there even longer!! I guess it only means that I will never live in another country other than sg. But I COULD live somewhere else for a long period of time. Because I am starting to fall in love with Sydney so much I wanna be like Sarah (my new shotgun bff lol) and stay here till visa expires illegally hahaha. She is so funny I swear she really went okay lets be bffs after 5 min into the ride and I was like okay we will have a shotgun ceremony right now and I taught her singlish so she could come to singapore. hehe the people there are really funny and crazy! Makes me really feel like I could stay here lol. They're really friendly ^^. But not this time at least :) Yay Singapore here I come :D

-nielle

"And to be happy, make others happy. With your presence, or even absence."

Sentosa with the fabs

  Hello this is late, I had an awesome trip to sentosa with the 05 <3 on saturday, 8/12/13 :) It was completely awesome with a dash of sunny!! It was an amazing incredible day! I don't even know what else to say because I had so much fun with the games and the eating and the water splashing! (Even though I felt like I got completely raped) I felt so comfortable there it felt like everyone belonged for a moment!!  but I was grateful for the final outing before the break because I will really miss my awesome classmates. We started the outing at like 10am all the way till like what? 12 midnight? I didn't stay all the way because I had to attend my cousins' birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASH AND SIAH) at around 5 but I know my classmates came back pretty late ;) so here are some awesome pics!

Here are some class shots yay!

WE PULLED OFF SOME STUNTS HAHA!

sorry sheng i was probably as heavy as shit. but good job u're growing bigger and shit. hahahahahahha

I made patrick star :P!!

 Super adorbs pic of THE GIRLS <3 Syaz is always so photogenic!

Fooooooooooood!

Azra looks like a supercutekoalabearrrr!!

Val and Sarah :)

Although I didn't stay, heard so much and I am so glad y'all had fun! Really like this picture :D

- nielle 

Something I learnt: must start exercising again wts! 

Something random: SHAINA DID MY NAILS!

stripping hair off its colour (not so pretty sounding alr right lol hehehehe)

I DYED MY HAIR :D

  Yes yes omg I dyed my hair! For the longest of time I really wanted to try highlights and now I have yippieeeeee!! I actually dyed my hair a mocha colour and then bleached my streaks ash. Then some pink streaks! Ok firstly, I was really scared of going for something too crazy but my dear hairstylist had other plans. She said that if I let her do pink streaks she would do it for free and it would look amazing… Pink and free, idk la but my inner singaporean and dare devil just said yes. Inside I was screaming please don't be horrible. (ahahahahaha) Much thanks to Shaina Cheow and Max for coming along with us! Rachel had her hair dyed red and it is GORGE !! I am in love with her hair <3! But for me… I'm still tryna decide whether I like it or not. All the way back to tc, Rach shaina and max kept making fun of me and pulling jokes about me looking like a skater girl/failed ah lian/crazy girl hahaha but they said it was a fresh look and I looked good I just had to get used to it! Oh well I hope I do! I love the streaks by themselves but I'm not sure I'll get used to keeping them! Meanwhile enjoying it for the moment! Here are some pics :P Will get rach's soon to upload!

I used my feet to take this picture :P (i love creeping people out with weird disgusting facts about me)

This is my one and only pic of the smexy rachie