Friends

What if love came with a choice.

Looks,
Height,
Weight,
Popularity.

What if friends came with prices.

Are you pretty?
Are you funny?
Do you dress the way
Everyone
Else
Does?
How many pints can you chug?
What kinds of music do you
Listen To?
Can you keep up?

Keep up with their paces?

What if happiness in life required certain standards.

Colours of hair,
Appearances and faces,
Skin tones,
Brawny and braces?

Like platters in a buffet,
People walking, choosing,
This look's appetising,
This I'll save for later.
This I'll avoid.
It isn't any of the tastes I like.

The greatest blisses in life isn't just being able to say "I am loved for what I'm great at, what I'm good at and what I can do well."

The greatest blessing,
Possibly,

Is to be able to say, "I am accepted, I am loved. I am adored for what I never will be. I am appreciated for what I'm not good at. I am dear to people because of what I will never look like…
I am beloved because I am nothing but me."

Not just even though, but because I am imperfectly perfect.

"Friends are hard to find. In a lifetime you only get a few. And when you find them, you always know them by sight and heart alone, you always grow a little bit taller in your soul, and you know you have been blessed just to know them." - Ashley Rice

Snowflakes

Have you ever tasted a snowflake? 
Like standing outside a front porch, or in a large field, sticking your tongue out and chasing those tiny white things and then watching one fall into your mouth. 
It's too small to taste, just a tiny speck of cold. 
(But then again, it's just water and probably tastes plain and... Well... Water-y?)

That's what some things are to me. 
Snowflakes. 

Specks of pretty glass shards made of ice and water that vanishes and dissolves the moment it reaches your lips. And it's nothing but a beautiful cold feeling. Each snowflake is unique and special on it's own, not one the same as the other. But if you don't catch them, they fall to the ground either to dissolve or form something greater; pretty white snow on the ground. 

Doesn't it kind of feel like life?
Every pretty moment. 

\(^-^)/

I love snowflakes.


"Falling slowly, 
eyes that met me 
And I can't go back." - Falling Slowly (Once) 
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=falling%20slowly%20glen%20hansard%20and%20marketa%20irglova&sm=3

Judgement and thoughts

Would anyone ever get it? Lol. It's such a frenzy in here.



Maybe it's because
She sees things no one else does,
Hears words no one else says.

The chilly winds that
Make people
Sink
Deeper
Into
Their huge coats and kaleidoscopic scarves.

The invisible strings that
Pulls
And
Tugs
The wagging tongues of men as they speak.

The winds are too harsh,
Too cold.

The tongues lash,
Things are so old.

Why do people hide in their coats
Because of the wind?
When tongues roll and wag,
Isn't it just the same?
Nothing but air circulation.

They ask, why?
Just go with the flow.

She's standing still.
Winds are stronger in her direction.
She has to start walking again.


"She sees things no one else does,
Hears words no one else says."

Why won't people see?
The things that drives her mad.

1. 
   

Trust

trust

trəst/

noun

1. 1.

   firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

   "relations have to be built on trust"

   
   

They say to trust is the belief that someone or something has the ability to accomplish the end product you want/need so much so that you rely on them.
When you believe that someone has your best interests at heart and you give them the special attention for the entitlement of their opinion.

Do you know it's possible to love someone emotionally without trusting?
Or to trust someone without loving emotionally?
Though it is harder to not trust someone you love emotionally.

But,
You can.

Why harder though?
Because you're emotionally attached to the person.
Emotions from the heart always make a mess out of the plans we already formed in out minds.
Choose not to trust the person and lets see how long you won't give in to the care and concern you have for him/her.

In the end, you end up doing the same thing.

Opening up.

With or without trust,
Possibly even knowing that it's the biggest and wrongest move.
Remembering why you never trusted in the first place?

Still opening up even when you know you've handed a murderer a gun.

Still opening up even when you know this would be the reason for sleepless nights and countless nightmares.

Some people choose isolation, miserable loneliness to avoid this risk. People still come. Maybe even more than what usually. They come with hammers and anything that would deliver an impact, trying to break that wall that was built up. When that doesn't work, they come with treaties of peace and promises and weird gifts. Gifts of hope and love in trade for just a little faith. As though they would reach treasures on the other side.

But the other side is a wreck. Far from treasures. The right people are the ones that realise this soon enough.

Maybe someone comes with a wrecking ball?
I'd freak out.
Miley Cyrus.



Just wanted to say, even if you're struggling with trust, the journey is when you take the first step to believe in yourself. I guess even I am still struggle with this.
"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not in the branches but her own wings. You've got to believe in yourself." 

Decalper

She sits in the corners of your heart,

Here all is calm, just a little cold.

The dusts are clearing, some soul searching.

The walls are smooth, paint job's done.

Everything's new. 

Not a faint sign of 

what it used to be.

Everything's fresh.

A fresh start, starting all afresh.

Fill, fill, fill.

With love and doodles.

Hearts, flowers, chocolates and dolls.

Isn't it a little strange, 

This room was made just for you?

Nothing speaks,

Nothing says.

Nothing like the empty dark room it used to be.

Almost feels like

Nothing

Ever

Took 

Place

Here.

Once upon a time,

It used to be.

Once upon a time,

This place was nothing

But an uninhabited land.

Not a single one in sight.

Because of what she left behind.

Monstrosity, pain, fear and agony.

All the darkness left behind. 

No one could stay, no one could run.

She tore the place up with nothing,

Nothing but her own needs to satisfy.

Nothing but her own hurts that could never come by.

The room's bright white and clean. 

Not a hint of gray, or black or pain.

Hope at last can maybe be seen.

Decalper Alma

Sometimes the one you want may not be the one you need.

"How've you been? Can I come in? Just came to get my things and then I guess I'm leaving." - By Now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXLXlwK9CYc

The funny thing that holds holes.

Holes.

That word that refers to gaps, crack, pit, space.

Holes,

What a strange strange word.

I mean, am I the only one that thinks so? That a word for empty, void, nothingness is a word?

Holes is literally nothing in a something. (Hahaha that sounds funny.)

I wonder why we name something that means nothing.

Hey! My cheese has holes all over them!!

Hey! My cheese has nothing all over them!!

My cheese has empty pockets of nothing in them!!

I think the word is terribly funny and I feel like I'm the only one.

Only one

Thinking like this. 

Your mouth is a round tunnel of nothing!!

There is a hole in my heart. No one ever says there is a heart in my hole. BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

HOLES CAME FIRST. Because holes are nothing! Without a heart, isn't it one big hole? 

Technically, your heart is in your hole. hahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahaha okay. not funny. sounds quite scary. 

I hope I didn't scare you. I'm just trying out this thing with typing immediately whatever comes into my queer brain. 

But maybe, we name something that means nothing because nothing can always be something in a different context. 

What do you think?

 (i am properly back from serious writing)

Sometimes idk why I'm so strange.

Love

Someone asked me what love felt like.
I guess I knew but it felt like I didn't.
I knew because I knew how it felt.
I didn't cuz 'you don't really know something until you can explain it'.
I tried anyway.
But the harder I tried to think.
I guess I couldn't quite figure myself what it was.
So I did my best to explain
How it felt being loved.

I guess when you feel loved, it's like lightning hits you and you literally just lose it. All common senses, all proper thinking abilities. You smile stupid, you laugh goofily at everything and you really do get all warm and fuzzy inside.

Makes you feel like you can run through the whole country and still nothing will bring you down. You look at everything and everything seems so beautiful. Like for that little moment, it's like you catch a tiny glimpse of your purpose in this world. That purest moment, its like…well. You belong. Just in that moment you're not a waste of space and…suddenly like you deserve a place here on Earth.

You put on your headphones and every song is a love song. You look at the things you'd usually say no to and think 'ah, why not??'. You ignore the things that usually bug you and notice everything you usually don't in a beautiful way.

And you just want to hug everyone! Haha! Yeah that's it! Especially when they ask 'why are you so happy?'. Like u just wish everyone had a feel of it. Or like somehow, some way that you could try explain it with words to them. You want to scream it out to the whole world.

It may be very different for everyone but love at its purest and simplest with forever feel the same in my opinion.

Everyone wants to feel this way. But in truth we all have it inside. What it takes to fall in love.
But for everyone, lets not rush into it. It doesn't just take the right person. It has to be the right time and the perfect place to find it. Finding it too soon or too early
Is simply
Just a
Waste
Of its fullest potential.
So i guess it might be hard to wait but when it comes, it will be worth forever holding on and waiting.

I thought to myself: Maybe I'll write this down. Because this might be the closest I'd ever be to describing what real love feels to me. What being loved feels truly. And I, don't want to ever forget how it feels.

(Hope it isn't too cheesy for you)