Desensitise

Somedays,

I get so sick and tired of worrying about other people's feelings getting hurt.

Because in the process,

I end up getting mine hurt.



So I get upset and try to reconcile the feelings.

I get upset with myself first, like my very own guard trying to line up my feelings

All these just to make sure I don't end up being an asshole to others.

Doesn't matter that all I did was skip a step straight to beating and bruising myself.

(Even though deep down, I just wanna throw some 'fuck yous' and ditch my moral compasses and obsessive 'compassion' impulsions.)

These wretched feelings.


They don't last long. But even for a second, I wonder.

Wow, it's really hard being a good person, can I just give up?

Would that make me a bad person?